You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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