i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize