I seem to have left my pride at pride
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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