All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
