she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
