Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
