i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
