Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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