Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize