How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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