you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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