I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
