i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
