What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
