no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
