Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
