the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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