This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
