so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
