Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
