I am full of burrito and curiosity
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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