I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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