Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
