My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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