Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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