I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
