I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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