I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is the high leading the old right now
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
