she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
