Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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