hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
