Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
