dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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