You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
