Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just high enough for therapy.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
