i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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