Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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