It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
