I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
