saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
