I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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