The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
