When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
