Pappa wants mamma naked
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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