wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
