Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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