New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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