Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
