and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
