i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
