drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
