guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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