Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
