i don't like sucking hair
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
