How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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