She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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