This is not my ceiling
I just pynch a tree in the face
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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