do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
